Thursday, October 20, 2011


"Your body deserves the best"

Americans feel guilty.

Is it because they have so much while children in other countries starve to death?


What makes an American guilty, feel spiritually unclean, is doing anything which might cause harm to their own body, might take a few seconds off their own lifespan. If there is even a rumor something they do or use might be unhealthy, an American feels guilt by association. As might someone from another country feel associating with a murderer or criminal.


Enter evos, which according to their menu, offers food, "without the side order of guilt". Several of their items include organic ingredients.

"Organic" means that instead of using the minimum amount of land and resources to grow food, extra space is needed, space that could have been used to grow food for the poor, or to house chipmunks and woodland creatures.

But the menu is printed on recycled paper with vegetable based ink, so that makes everything okay


Americans also feel more spiritually clean if they can spend more money for less. They know that the more money they spend for something the healthier it has to be. And eating things which are healthy makes them feel less guilty. This cost about ten dollars:

evos meal

It came with naturally flavored ketchup (they call it "ketchup karma") and sea salt--because regular table salt is too inexpensive to be any good.

evos salt and pepper

Note the food options that spiritual clean people can choose from:

evos sandwich options

And here is what all the fuss was about:

evos cheeseburger

I was afraid I might choke on the moral superiority.


  1. I was afraid I might choke on the moral superiority.

    Looks and sounds like Evos is serving überburgers--to a small Nietzsche market.

  2. If it had only looked decent when it came out of the wrapper, or tasted especially good. Instead it was smushed and cold, the bun was dry, the milkshake it came with was bland, and the airfries were something you had to smother in ketchup to enjoy.

    Take the food out of the wrappers saying how good it is, out of the restaurant with its "enlightenment" signs, put it on a plate, and people would complain.

  3. Business idea: put one next to a McDonald's, have a couple of kids rewrapping McD's food in the back.